Deliverance
drifting
lazily drifting with no direction
weather-ravaged, parched, squinty eyes, brows furrowed
waiting: intubated, incapacitated, inconsolable, insane
perchance, the big steamer will come
perhaps the sky will rumble with a jet
possibly the yellow submarine with
surfboard and tanned hero
whiplashed into the whirlpool
jerked by the Moro reflex, a primal urgency sweeps
the struggle, the urgent thrusts, gasping, treading, clawing, stay afloat
a million hands pushing underwater
lungs deflated, gills inflate
the inchoate senses awaken, the surrender.
bob with the currents, ethereal jellyfish float by; vacant, transparent
stream of tiny bubbles issue out with every ebb and flow
Iridiscence; the unreal light in the depths
cellophane strips, rock hard pertubrances, schools of movement
in the inky indigo, coursing through a sulphurous vent
all around is a frenzy of death and life and the eaten and the uneaten
Of the strong and the weak of
Darwin and god and clockwork
Of purpose and destiny and niche and umvelt
in the crack, the salty womb, no light filters
in the head, the battle begins
of the Id and the Ego and the fear and the rationality
and the potential and the reality and the possibility and the failure
of the past and the future and the chances and the risks and the withdrawal and the penetration
the escape commences; shape shifting, devouring letters, icons, images
the feeding frenzy, the hedonistic pleasures, sibilant, slithering, nursing the swallowed feast
fear of birth keeps the neonate in the womb
the womb is a tomb with the security of insecurity
0130 20 February 2007
Why I don’t blog anymore
Lets write a love poem and publish it
We can relinquish the mindfuck, just
take it out on the keyboard; the relenting punching bag
Let the words incapacitate heads not our own
Name me anyone who doesn’t own a piece of virtual real estate?
Bare and bear voir and voyeur
I can keep tabs on you, you and you
I’ll pass you silently by and you wouldn’t know
that I have your life inside my head
so tell me why why would I want myself unveiled?
over it?
its high time i grew up and got out of my head coz while i am in my coocoon the whole world is revolving and im left outside alone its time i woke up and lived up to who I am and who Im suppossed to be time to pick up the pieces and do what i always do the word is do and not think and to do means to see it through and stay strong and on track and keep the faith and not be afraid to try and to dream because this is the only way to go if not you might as well give it all up now and be content with less but you are the one who will never ever settle for less so dont start now as you lower your standards you will find yourself in deep shit so for the love of god please wake up from your dream and move there is no time to lose am i ready?
resurrection
For abt three months I have deprived myself of the opportunity to let ppl in my life. It didnt matter much anyways because i still exercised a lot of self-censorship in what I wrote. Truth is I cant be as transparent as I envision myself to be because I am image conscious and intensely private. In these three months there have been so many occassions in which i felt compelled to write and unleash because I needed some form of release. It is cathartic, to write and i guess this medium will continue to exist for me to transfer some of the knots and tangles in my head into print and that typing it out for me to read will give me some form of outward perspective that promotes reflection.
Also, I miss the joy of sharing with people I love the things that make me tick. Since I will be sojourning to Toronto in about 2/3 months time and I need some channel of communication and expression with my friends and family, I thought that it would be great to rekindle this.
So we will see how this goes…my urge to blog just went away 
